Safety guide
Meeting a Hook-Up Safely: First Meet Tips That Work
A little planning before you go leaves room for the fun kind of surprise.
How do you meet a hook-up safely?
Keep the chat on Get A Shag, have a quick video chat and look for the ID verified badge. Tell a friend where you are going and when, meet somewhere public and travel under your own steam. On the night, drink sensibly, carry condoms and check consent at every step. If anything feels off, leave.
None of that is about expecting the worst. Meeting someone from a dating site for sex is meant to be exciting, and sorting the sensible stuff early means you can give the person in front of you your full attention. Get A Shag is for adults only (18+), and these habits suit a one-night stand just as well as a regular arrangement.
Before you meet: four checks that take minutes
- Chat on the site first. Messaging inside Get A Shag lets you chat under a username, with your real name and email kept private, and your number and socials stay yours until you decide otherwise. If the person you are chatting to wants to switch to WhatsApp or another app, Get A Shag flags it with a warning, and pushing for that early is an old scammer's trick (our guide to sex scams covers the rest).
- Video chat before you meet. A couple of minutes on camera shows you the face matches the photos and the person matches the messages. Police Scotland lists refusing a video call or a meeting, or claiming the camera isn't working, among the warning signs of a dating scam.
- Look for the ID verified badge. It means the member passed the optional ID check, which every member can take at no charge. A staff validation badge means the team reviewed the profile, and a live video check with a moderator, which needs no documents, confirms someone is who they say they are. Nobody checks every profile, and Get A Shag's member terms are clear that it runs no criminal background checks, so a badge is a good sign, not a character reference. The features page explains each check.
- Tell a friend where and when. Send them the username, the venue, the time, and when you will text to say you are fine. Agree what they should do if that text never comes, then remember to send it.
Where to meet: in public, with your own way home
Make the first meet a busy pub, bar or café, somewhere with staff and other people about. If you fancy each other, that will still be true after a drink, and their place or yours can wait until you have met and liked what you found.
Get yourself there and back. Drive yourself, book your own taxi or note the time of the last train before you head out; when you are not relying on them for a lift, leaving is your call alone. Keep your battery topped up, keep enough money for the trip home, and have a boring exit line ready ("I've got work in the morning") so going takes ten seconds and no explaining.
On Get A Shag, other members see your nearest town or city and nothing more precise. Keep your home address out of the chat as well until you are sure about someone.
On the night: a clear head, a clear yes and condoms
Drink sensibly
A drink to settle the nerves is fine. Buy your own, carry it yourself and keep it in sight; if it has been out of view, leave it and order another. Both of you should be able to make a clear choice and remember making it. If either of you is past that point, the night ends with a cab home, and there is always another evening.
Consent at every step
Yes to a drink is not yes to going back to yours, and yes to one thing does not cover the next. Ask, listen, and watch for hesitation as well as words. Either of you can stop at any point, for any reason, and the other person stops too, without a sulk. Our sexual health guide sets out what the law says.
Bring condoms, even if they say they have some, and agree on them in the messages rather than in the heat of the moment. If one splits, don't sit on it: the NHS says to get urgent help, and a pharmacist, a GP, 111 or a sexual health clinic can all give it.
If it goes wrong: leave, call, report
- Leave
- You owe nobody an explanation or a second drink. Feeling uneasy is reason enough to go.
- Call 999 in an emergency
- Police Scotland sums up when to dial 999: someone is in danger, you need help now, or a serious incident is happening or about to happen. For anything less urgent, the police non-emergency number is 101.
- Report and block
- Report the profile from inside Get A Shag, then block the person; blocking is instant. If you want to talk it through, human support is there by chat and messaging, day and night.
- Get support
- If something happened that you did not agree to, Rape Crisis England & Wales runs a support line on 0808 500 2222 at any hour. Our sexual health guide lists more help, including in Scotland.
After the meet: check in, then decide
Text your friend as soon as you are home, or as soon as you decide to stay. That one message is what makes the whole plan work.
Then decide how it went. Fancy round two? Say so. Not feeling it? A short, polite no is plenty, and if they keep messaging after that, block them. Your one-click thumbs up or down counts towards their reputation score.
If anything afterwards turns into pressure, like a request for money or a threat to share pictures, stop replying, keep the messages and read our sex scams and sextortion guide. The safety page sets out the protections built into the site.
Questions about meeting safely
Should I video chat before meeting a hook-up?
Yes. A short video chat confirms the face matches the photos and saves a wasted trip. If someone keeps dodging it, or says their camera is broken, treat that as a warning sign rather than bad luck.
Is it safe to go straight to their place?
For a first meet, choose somewhere public instead. Going back to theirs, or yours, can come later, once you have met, liked each other and told a friend where you will be.
What does the ID verified badge mean?
It shows the member passed Get A Shag's optional ID check, which costs nothing to take. It is a good sign, but nobody checks every profile, so keep using your own judgement as well.
What should I do if a hook-up goes wrong?
Leave, without worrying about being polite. Call the police on 999 if anyone is in danger or you need help now, or on 101 if it is not an emergency. Then report the profile from inside the site and block the person.
Should I tell a friend I'm meeting someone for sex?
Tell them you are meeting someone, along with the username, the place and the time. What you are hoping happens next can stay between you. Agree when you will check in, and what they do if you don't.
Plan Smart, Then Have Your Fun
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