Guide
How to Get a Shag: Honest Tips for Getting Laid
Getting laid owes less to luck than you'd think. Here's what works, from your first photo to the morning after.
So, how do you get a shag?
Be clear that you want sex with no strings, and build a profile that says so. Send a first message worth answering, then chat until you're both sure. Meet somewhere public first, bring condoms, and check in with each other all the way through. Honesty, good manners and a bit of nerve do the rest.
None of it is complicated; the trick is doing all of it. Get A Shag is adults only (18+) and built for casual sex, so you can skip the coy stuff and concentrate on being worth a reply.
A profile that gets replies
Photos: clear, recent, suggestive
Lead with your face, in good light, taken this year. Not a group shot, not sunglasses, not a holiday snap from 2019. Then add a couple that show off your body and your style: a fitted shirt, a good dress, a cheeky grin.
Suggestive works. Explicit doesn't: save that for a private chat where the other person has asked for it. Photos are screened by software and human reviewers when you upload them, and possibly explicit images are blurred behind a warning until the viewer chooses to look.
A few honest lines
Say what you're after in plain words: a one-off, a regular arrangement, or just some flirting for now. Then add two or three things that are actually you. You make a mean curry. You dance badly but often. You're always up for a pint on a Tuesday. Specifics give people something to reply to; "just ask" gives them nothing.
Pick a username with a bit of wit. Your real name and email stay private, and members only see your nearest town or city.
Worth doing on day one: the ID check. It costs nothing and adds an ID verified badge to your profile, so people know you're the real deal. The features page covers the rest, from status updates to polls.
First messages that actually get answered
"Hey" is not a message. Neither is "u up?". An opener that works is short, shows you've read their profile, and ends with something easy to answer. A bit of cheek helps. Anything crude in a first message is the quickest route to a block.
A few to borrow, bend or beat:
- "You said no small talk, so I'll skip the weather. Drink this week?"
- "I've typed and deleted three openers. This one won. How's your week going?"
- "Fair warning: I'm better in person than at openers. Fancy finding out?"
- "Your profile says you like a bit of mischief. Define 'a bit'."
- "That beach photo is doing a lot of work. Where was it taken?"
Who to send them to? Finding a shag starts with your daily suggestions, which weigh distance, what each person is after and the interests you share; then browse for anyone else who takes your fancy. Don't paste one opener to everyone nearby; people can tell. And never send a photo nobody asked for.
Reading the signals, and taking no for an answer
Interest is easy to spot: replies that ask you something back, messages that get longer and flirtier, and sooner or later a hint about meeting.
Lukewarm looks like one-word answers, long gaps and a change of subject whenever you mention meeting. Ask once, plainly: "Up for meeting, or happier chatting for now?" Either answer tells you something.
No means no, whether it comes outright, politely or as silence. Reply with something gracious, like "No worries, good luck out there", and move on. You can't talk anyone into fancying you, and pushing gets you blocked and reported. Members' feedback feeds each profile's reputation score, so good manners follow you around, and so do bad ones.
How to go from chat to meeting up
Once you're both keen, suggest a day and a place rather than letting it drift. Then three habits worth keeping:
- Video chat first. Five minutes on camera shows they look like their photos, and that you still fancy each other with the sound on. Police Scotland's dating scam advice warns about anyone who won't video call or meet face to face, or claims their camera "isn't working".
- Meet somewhere public. A busy pub or bar for the first drink, even if you both know where the night's heading. If it's on, you leave together. If it isn't, you finish your drink and go.
- Tell a friend. Who you're meeting, where, and when you'll check in. It takes a minute, and they don't need the details.
Be wary of anyone in a hurry to move the chat off the site; Get A Shag shows a warning when someone tries to take it to WhatsApp or another app. For the full checklist, read our guide to meeting a hook-up safely.
On the night: consent, condoms and your own way home
Consent, all the way through. The Sexual Offences Act 2003, which covers England and Wales, says agreement has to be "by choice", from someone with "the freedom and capacity to make that choice". In practice: ask, listen, and check in as things move along. A yes to a drink, or to coming back to yours, is a yes to exactly that. Anyone can change their mind, and when they do, you stop.
Condoms, every time. Bring your own rather than hoping they've got some. According to the NHS, sexual health clinics hand them out at no cost, as do some GP surgeries and pharmacies, and if one splits, you should get help urgently from a pharmacist, a sexual health clinic, a GP or 111.
Your own way home. Drive, book your own cab or know when the last train leaves. Being able to go whenever you like makes it much easier to stay because you want to.
The morning after: a message either way
Whatever happened, say something the next day. Ghosting someone you've just slept with is poor form, and a decent message takes ten seconds.
- Fancy a repeat? "Had a great time. Same again soon?"
- A one-off for you? "Thanks for a fun night. Take care of yourself."
- Not for you at all? "Good to meet you, but I don't think we'll do it again. Good luck."
If they don't reply, take the hint. And if one night was all either of you wanted, that's a perfectly good result; our page on one night stands is all about keeping it simple.
Sex with someone new is a good prompt for a check-up. The NHS says to visit a sexual health clinic when you're sleeping with new people, and points out that many STIs have no symptoms. Our sexual health guide explains where to go.
Puzzled by the shorthand on some profiles? Here's what NSA means, and there are more guides to casual sex where this came from.
Getting a shag: your questions
What's the quickest way to get laid?
Say plainly that you want no-strings sex, message people who say the same, and suggest meeting once the chat is flowing. How fast it happens depends on who's around you, but clarity speeds everything up.
What should I say in a first message?
Something short that shows you've read their profile, ending with a question that's easy to answer. Cheeky is good. Explicit isn't, at least until they've made it clear they want that too.
Do I have to say I only want sex?
Not in those words, but you should be clear. "Here for no-strings fun" does the job, and it tends to bring replies from people who want the same thing.
Where should we meet the first time?
Somewhere busy and public, like a pub or bar, with a friend told where you'll be and your own way home sorted.
What if one of us changes their mind?
Then it stops, there and then, with no sulking and no persuading. Either of you can change your mind at any point, and the other person accepts it without a fuss.